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If you have actual romantic feelings for them, not just sexual ones, you might even have to take a break from the friendship.
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Maybe don't stay over their house after falling asleep during movie night. Just know that you might have to set some new boundaries in your friendship. It’s just not a good fit for the other person," Cocharo recommends telling yourself. If you have this conversation before or after the sex and find out that the feelings aren't mutual, don't be too hard on yourself. "Real friendships can endure," Cocharo says. "Sometimes in that chemical cocktail, we’ll get attracted to someone and start a relationship and when those hormones start wearing off, we find that there’s absolutely no foundation to build a relationship on.” But if you already have the emotional relationship in place (hello, friendship!) and then start to get intimate, you've got a much better shot at creating a healthy and happy future. People who just get attracted to someone they see across the room have a lot of pheromones, Cocharo says. “I know that people are always afraid to do that, but from my perspective-I’ve been a marriage therapist for over 30 years-the couples who start with a solid basis of friendship are in a really good position to last."Ĭompared to people who meet as strangers, Cocharo says couples who start as friends-especially best friends-have a much better foundation. But what happens when that last L-word, love, turns into another: lust? Is having sex with your best friend actually a good idea?Īccording to Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT, starting something romantic with a friend could be your best idea yet. These are people in your life who you've grown to trust, value, and love, likely for years.
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